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50+ Funniest Quotes By Robert Mugabe

11. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw Adidas lines on your face.

12. Respect pregnant women because it’s not easy walking around with evidence that you’ve had sex.

13. Some of the girls of today can’t even jog for five minutes but they expect a guy to last in bed with you for two hours? Your level of selfishness demands a one-week crusade.

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14. I stopped trusting ladies when my class three girlfriend left me for another boy all because he bought a sharpener with a mirror.

15. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a “broke” man who’s extremely good in bed.

16. Witchcraft is when a 24-year-old girl who cannot jog for five minutes expects a 40-year-old man to last for one hour in bed.

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17. Being dumped by a dark-skinned girl is the worst thing ever, because anytime you get home and see charcoal, you become emotional.

18. Women with beauty and no brains, it is your private parts that will suffer the most.

19. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realise witchcraft is real.

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20. If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to schoolgirls, just buy your wife a school uniform.

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